What's been stolen?

I have been thinking about a conversation that I had with an Aunt. She said that my uncle, her husband, was mad about the abuse that I experienced because it stole His time with me, when I was small. She said that He turned to her nieces and played with them like crazy. I wonder if that’s part of the reason that we never had that much interaction with their boys. I know that there were age differences but there really isn’t any reason why I shouldn’t have had a good relationship with their oldest one, he is close to the age of one of my best friends. When I mentioned this to my Mother she told me that another one of my uncles thought I hated him until he found out what had been happening.

I have never looked at thing from this perspective before. I have never really considered the effects of the abuse on anyone other than myself and perhaps my parents. I never really thought about how the rest of my family would be affected – should be affected. I know that it’s not my fault but in a way I feel like it is.

Why would I let this affect my relationship with my other uncles?

Could it be that subconsciously I thought that they would treat me the same way?

In some ways this new perspective horrifies me. How many other relationships were lost because of this abuse? How many are being affected, still, today?

Can these relationships be minded?

In a conversation with Mom about all this she pointed out that my uncles, on the other side of the family, should have been just as upset if not more so. My time and relationship with them were stolen as well. However, they should have felt that their trust in a loved one was stolen. Shouldn’t they have felt betrayed?

What if it had been one of my other cousins instead of me?

Would it have been handled any differently?

For years I have felt like they consider their happiness to be more important than me. They would rather keep the peace within the established family rather than take up for one insignificant child. They found dumb reasons to cast me out rather than the one who committed the crime. Why? Why not deal with the actual problem? If they were afraid of breaking the family apart shouldn’t they have considered, that by choosing Him over me, that they were actually alienating my parents as well? I don’t understand.

I keep thinking about other families, that I am aware of, that have had to deal with similar situations. I can understand the family still loving Him because you can’t just stop loving someone, no matter what they do. God calls us to love one another, even our enemies.

I wonder; what if something like that happened on Mom’s side of the family?

How would I react?

In each of these other families the situations were still dealt with. It has been hard in each case but the right thing is being done in order to protect those who could be hurt. Could it be that measures have to be taken against the offender not only to protect others but maybe even themselves?