Thursday, August 27, 2009

Sorrow and Joy?

Over the past few days I have been thinking about these two things. Earlier in the week I received an email with this link, A Call to Anguish-David Wilkerson. I don't know if it will touch everyone the way it did me but I was truly convicted by it. I am one who wanted to take things easy. I was concerned but didn't want the get too involved with things. I wanted to be happy. I still want to be happy.

Just after listening to this I heard a short segment on Klove radio station by Jesus Freaks. This was talking about how the deciples were promised that they would experience constant sorrow and joy. Sorrow and Joy? My first thought was of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Askaban. There is a part where Ron is trying to read Harry's tea leaves and he says ''your going to suffer but your going to be happy about it" with a very doubtfully look on his face. I guess that's kind of how I was feeling. How can you have both at the same time? Can you feel anguish and joy?

I am not sure I have the answer to that yet but I am beginning to understand that I can't hide from sorrow any more, not that I ever could to begin with. I am terrified of what's to come and what I may have to face. It scares me to think about sharing in God's anguish but I can't let my fear keep me from God. I know that is just what I was doing. I think that I let the fear start to control me more than I it. I know that spirit of fear does not come from God.

God does give us the promise that He will never give us more than we can handle and that He will be there with us all the way, no matter what. There are levels to God's power that I haven't even begun to comprehend yet. This is one of them. I pray that God will help me to overcome my fears and give me the courage that I need to face what I must to grow strong in Him. Keep me in your prayers.